Fun with Alzheimer's

My mom was an elementary school teacher for 44 years. She had that certain commanding presence that school teachers often have. As her senile dementia progressed, and after a fall that broke her hip, we moved her into a nursing home to be with my dad (who had had a major debilitating stroke and lived there 3 years before mom joined him).

One day, at lunch, my mom and dad along with 20 or so other residents, were eating lunch in the dining room. When the staff left them to take trays to others in their rooms, my mom stood up and clapped her hands.

“Attention…attention everyone! The bus to take us all home will be here in 15 minutes! Please finish eating and go to your room to pack your belongings to go home! Thank you!”

Maybe it was her commanding elementary teacher voice…or maybe it was just the news that everyone wanted to hear. But…all of the residents got up and went to their rooms. When the staff returned after delivering trays, the dining room was empty.

“Where is everyone?” Sue asked Becky. “I don’t know but we’d better go see,” Becky replied.

Sue and Becky went to Mrs. Gradison’s room and found her organizing and packing her belongings. “What are you doing?” they asked. “Well,” Mrs. Gradison replied, “Mrs. Linn just announced that the bus was coming soon to take us all home and I’m packing.”

“NO…” they both replied. “I’m sorry, but Mrs. Linn was confused and there is no bus.” Mrs. Gradison looked crestfallen and went back to the dining room to resume eating. In room after room, Becky and Sue found residents packing and they had to break the bad news and get everyone back on task.

When they arrived in my mom’s room, they asked, “Edith, why did you tell everyone that the bus was coming?” She replied, “Well, I heard the bell ring and that means the buses are lined up and ready to take the kids home!”

“OH…” they both replied. That made sense! She thought she was back at school and the bus was a SCHOOL bus.

That evening, when everyone was seated in the dining room for dinner, and the aides had left to go deliver trays, my mother stood up, clapped her hands once more and said, “Attention…”

Guess all the residents that, once again, left to pack had forgotten the earlier incident!

Kim Woodward is owner of Senior Helpers, an in-home care and companionship company in Avon, IN. She left the corporate rat race to pursue her passion: helping seniors and their primary caregivers cope with needs in a loving, home setting. You can contact Kim at the Avon, IN office of Senior Helpers at (317) 718-1806.

Make A Difference Day Food Drive

Make A Difference Day is October 25, 2008!

In honor of this day, I am organizing a food drive for the Johnson County Council on Aging. We will be donating the food to local Johnson County organizations that have indicated they are in need of food donations. Please help us give back to the local community. I will have a donation box here at Little & Sons Funeral Home at 1301 Main Street. Beech Grove, IN 46107. The last day for donations is October 22, 2008.

Thank you in advance for your donations!

Andrea Pierce, Family Service Counselor

SENIOR DRIVER EVALUATION AND SCREENING OPTIONS

As a Driver Rehabilitation Specialist (DRS), I am frequently asked the following question: Why would I need an evaluation by a DRS when I could just attend a driver refresher course?

There are many online and classroom courses offered for older drivers. Organizations such as AAA and AARP are promoting the need for mature drivers to self evaluate and refresh their driving skills. Driving courses educate consumers regarding the physical, visual and cognitive changes that may occur with age and offer ways to improve driving safety. Also, drivers may receive a refresher course on rules of the road as well as tips for defensive driving. Some insurance companies offer a discount for participation in approved refresher courses.

As we age, certain functions related to driving skill may decline. These may include vision, hearing, cognition, reaction time, physical ability and loss of sensation. These changes may warrant an evaluation by a DRS.

A DRS is a person who has received specialty training in the areas of comprehensive driver evaluation, adaptive equipment and vehicle modification. Many occupational therapists have taken this specialty training and are helping people maintain their independence behind the wheel. Occupational therapy practitioners have the knowledge and experience needed to recognize changes that accompany medical conditions. They can then develop a plan that might include training and/or equipment recommendations.

While a driver refresher course is important in helping an older driver perform a self assessment of skills and identify potential areas of concern, a DRS is able to determine if these concerns warrant intervention to assure driver safety.
Submitted by Laura Noblitt, OTR, DRS; Senior Driving & Mobility Services, LLC

SENIOR DRIVER WARNING SIGNS

Getting older does not automatically turn people into bad drivers. But there are changes that can affect driving skills as we age. Specific functions related to driving skill may decline. These functions may include vision, hearing, cognition, reaction time, physical ability and loss of sensation. As a senior driver rehabilitation specialist, I am often asked what warning signs to look for in an older driver that may be having difficulty. The following is a list of the most common signs:

• Needing more help than in the past with directions or learning a new route
• Having trouble remembering the destination or locating a parked car
• Getting lost in familiar places
• Having trouble making left turns
• Receiving citations for moving violations
• Finding that others frequently honk their horns
• Stopping at green lights or braking inappropriately
• Drifting out of their road lane
• Having difficulty controlling emotions while driving
• Becoming easily distracted while driving
• Difficulty parking vehicle within a defined space
• Unexplained scrapes or dents on the car, mailbox or garage

Difficulty in any of these areas may warrant assessment by a physican and possibly a DriverRehabilitation Specialist.
Submitted by Laura Noblitt OTR, DRS; Senior Driving & Mobility Services, LLC

Fun with Alzheimer's

For those with loved ones suffering from mean diseases that rob them of their memory and, ultimately, their personality, you may wonder how it can be fun! Well...it isn't fun. My mother began "that daily dimming" as I called it at age 70 and died at 84. Throughout that long journey, there is no denying that there were some excruciating moments, some bittersweet moments and, yes, some outrageously funny moments. Here's one that I call, "Dinner and a…dinner and a…dinner and a...meatloaf?"

Going out for a big family dinner can be difficult even if all the planets align and everyone is happy and healthy. Going out for dinner with two elderly and debilitated parents can be impossible. If someone held a gun to my head and asked, “Root canal without anesthetic or dinner with your mom and dad,” I would opt for the dentist’s chair in a nanosecond! But, because my parents enjoyed dinner out, in a restaurant, with all their loving kids and grandkids around them, we chose dinner.

My father had a major hemorrhagic stroke which left him paralyzed on the right side and unable to speak. My mother had senile dementia. Dad was totally intact, mentally, and mom was totally intact physically. My children commented that if we took Grandpa’s brain and put it in Grandma’s body, they could have one whole grandparent!

So, every Tuesday night, my brother and I would schlep to the nursing home, pick them both up and schlep to a restaurant for dinner together. We did that because…well, my parents enjoyed it, as I said. And, visiting with them in a restaurant was far better than doing the same in a nursing home. For a couple of hours, everyone could forget about their circumstances and be a family again.

When we arrived at the restaurant, we were seated (well, dad was always seated…in a wheelchair) and were served our menus.

Mom: “It is so good of you kids to take us out to dinner!” (Opens menu) George, what do you want to eat?”

It was at this point that I reminded her that he couldn’t speak (hadn’t for 5 years) and that she needed to use yes/no questions. He smiled at me gratefully and rolled his eyes at my mother. She said, “Oh, that’s right. I forgot he couldn’t talk.”

Me: “Dad, do you want fried chicken?” (He shook his head). Meatloaf? (He nodded). He wants meatloaf, Mom.”

Mom smiled and resumed looking at the menu for a few minutes.

Mom: “Meatloaf…oh, that comes with a salad. George, what kind of salad dressing do you want?”

She expectantly waited for his reply.

In the space of 12 seconds, she had forgotten ONCE AGAIN that he couldn’t speak. She had also forgotten, after 55 years of marriage, that he ALWAYS orders Bleu cheese dressing.

The comedy routine continued through the drink, the dessert and coffee afterwards. Next Tuesday, we repeated the whole episode again.

What can you do? Laugh. Was it sad? Yes. Dealing with aging parents is one of the most stressful things a person can endure. But, endure it you should, you must, you can. Seeing the humor in the moment, rather than the tragedy, will make you ditch the stress for a few minutes and enjoy the family time together. Is it easy? NO. But you can do it if you believe it is worthwhile.

Home Alone

Often seniors continue to live alone when they are no longer safe. Children often do not recognize the danger of them living alone until something happens. In the case of someone with Alzheimer's disease I often hear, "They are not wondering anywhere". The reality is that there is no predictable time when they will start to wander. It could be in the middle of the night or in a snow storm or broad daylight. It is inevitable that this will happen at sometime because they don't recognize day vs night, remember the appropriate clothing to wear for the weather , don't know where they live or how to get somewhere or back home. Be sure to have an identification bracelet on your loved one if they have alzheimer's. If they live with someone consider installing door alarms that you can get from Radio Shack so that there's an alert when the door opens.

They also loose their sense of safety and unaware to recognize that it is not a good idea to stick a fork in a light socket. They have the mentality of a two year old and you know how curious they are. It's important to unplug their stove so it's not accidently left on and put any chemicals in a secure location. Medications should be locked as well. It is common for seniors to over medication themselves by not remembering that they already took it or not being able to read the dose. There are medication dispensing machines available that will dispense one dose at a time and if it's not take within a certain amount of time it will call and notify a designated person. That doesn't ensure that it's not been just stuck in their pocket though. Remember you're dealing with a two year old. Safety is a critical issue for all seniors. Read more about senior safety and take the test When Can Someone No Longer Live Alone Safely on http://www.agingavenues.com/.

Carlotta Katra, President
Aging Avenues

What do you do?

Today after a luncheon I was approached by four women who were dealing with issues related to caring for their parents. One had her mom here from out of town, relieving her brother, one who's mom had just gotten out of the hospital and can't walk now, one who was dealing with an alcoholic father who has alcohol related dementia and another who was taking care of her grandmother. They all had so many questions like, What do I do my mom can't walk and she doesn't want to go to a nursing home? That one is more complicated because first she needs to take advantage of her Medicare benefit and go to rehab for up to 100 days or at least use her home healthcare benefit to help get her as strong as possible. Immediately she needed to get her mother a special cushion to prevent skin breakdown since she's sitting constantly. She'd only been dealing with all this for a couple of days and was overwhelmed. Having to go home at lunch to get her lunch and take her to the bathroom. I also suggested she meet with an elderlaw attorney to make sure her legal and financial affairs were in order just in case she needed long term care. Wow is there alot to know. That's why I recommend you start learning about the issues they may affect your parents early. You can read more about Medicare, rehab and legal planning at http://www.agingavenues.com/.

Teaching Seniors to Prepare

Today I was the moderator of a panel discussion called "Getting Your House in Order". Some of the key issues were How to be Prepared Legally with a living will, healthcare representative and power of attorney. It's was also mentioned that there is a NEW HIPAA form that also needs to be included so your family can get information about your health condition if you are unable make decisions yourself. Hospitals are becoming very strict on this issue so I suggest you complete one and designate who you would want to have that information. It is also suggested to get a Psychiatric Healthcare Representative in the event that you were mentally impaired by Alzheimer's or dementia. Read more about Legal Health Planning on http://www.agingavenues.com/ and I will soon have the HIPAA form under checklists.

Are You Prepared for Your Parents Future?

Are You Prepared for Your Parents Future?
Often I hear people say, “My parents are doing great, they’re 88 and 90 and still living independently.” I think that’s great but I often ask “Are you prepared when they can’t?” Most people today will end up helping their parents at some point in their later years, either physically, emotionally or financially. Over 44 million Americans are currently providing care for a sick or elderly family member, either locally or long distance. Being prepared for what lies ahead allows you to have choices instead of just reacting to an emergency. Finding the right care for your parents takes lots of time but if they are hospitalized you usually only have 24 hours to find a solution. Knowing the planning your parents took in caring for you, don’t they deserve the same?

Be Prepared for a Medical Emergency with Your Parents
• Talk with family members about their wishes regarding further care either at home or in a
facility
• Let their physician know your concerns and involvement
• Establish a Power of Attorney, Health Care Representative &
Living Will (end of life choices)
• Plan for the future by consulting with Elder Law Attorney &
Financial Advisor
• Organize needed documents

Begin to Learn Your Options and How to Discuss These Difficult Issues at AgingAvenues.com, a new website designed to assist adult children prepare for the future and find assistance when needed. Sign up to receive our monthly tip to help you be prepared.
Carlotta Katra, President
Aging Avenues.com

Everyone needs an Advocate

Today I received a call from a friend who's worried about his elderly neighbor. She's being taken advantage of by family and friends. Her kindness has cost her financial security. She's letting a relative lease a large farm she owns for less than the taxes on it. Her grandson is living in a condo she owns and she's paying all the expenses. It goes on and on and basically she has little money to live because of all the overhead she has. This is just one of the many people I have tried to help either being taken advantage of financially or otherwise. Many seniors just need an advocate to make sure that their best interests for the future are protected. Usually their advocate is their children but not always. For seniors who do not have children who are willing to act as an advocate there are Geriatric Case Managers. Geriatric Case Managers are usually social workers or nurses who are trained to meet the needs of seniors from every angle. If there is abuse either physically or emotionally or neglect you can contact your local Adult Protective Services who will investigate. You can read more about Frauds and Scams target to seniors at http://www.agingavenues.com/. Don't be afraid to stand up for any senior you see being taken advantage of, someone will do it for you one day.

No one warned me about this phase.

Suddenly having to care for your elderly parents isn't easy. Now you're dealing with helping them with medical issues, taking care of a home, trying to determine what services are there to assist them as well as caring for your own family. Caring for your aging parent is almost as stressful as having teenagers, you never know what to expect next. Don't try to be a super hero not asking for help. I've seen countless caregivers jeopordize their own health to provide care for their loved one. People often offer to do something but we commonly just say "oh that's necessary". For once in your life take up every offer you get. Whether it's running errands, going to the grocery, cooking or doing the laundry don't be proud. You will kill yourself well before your time. As women we think we have to do everything for everyone and forget about our needs. This is the perfect time to teach your family how to do things for themselves. My college aged son actually thanked me for making him do his laundry, cook and clean. He's living with a roomate who's mother did it and doesn't know how so he ends up doing it all.Caring for your aging parents or in-laws can put a tremendous strain on your marriage as well. You will feel like there is no more of you to go around. You have to eat so meet for lunch, get your husband to give you a massage to relax at night, who knows where that might lead, or just take a walk together and share all your feelings. Post them here just to get them off your chest. Seek help through resources on-line like http://www.agingavenues.com/, our your local senior center or Area Agency on Aging. Take a deep breath and hang in there.